Paul Walker and Trusting who You're Driving With

Paul Walker, and Trusting who You're Driving With

Paul Walker’s recent death got me thinking about the importance of knowing who you’re driving with and knowing how competent they are at the moment. It has only been a couple of weeks since his death, so we are still waiting word of just what happened to his Porsche, but it is known that he wasn’t driving, his  business partner and a racing driver friend were. The other thing to note is that his friend was going way too fast on a residential street, lost control of the car, and killed two people.

The competence of the person you’re driving with is a big deal for all people, but it is especially important for teenage drivers, who are more likely to be driving with inexperienced drivers. What Paul Walker can teach us is to pay attention to the person driving you. When you are in the passenger seat, don’t just tune out regarding the road and glue your eyes to your phone. Watch how fast your friend is going, how they are situating themselves in the lane, (for instance, are they centered in the lane or are they weaving around. Do they tend to favor one side of the lane or another). Also pay attention to their attitude. Are they angry? Do you see them flipping other drivers off or tailgating someone who is going too slow or who they think cut them off? Or do you know that this person who is driving you is a bad driver? If so, then that is high time for you to make the decision about whether or not you should ask your friend to drive better, and whether or not you need to get out of the car.

This is a big deal, although we’ve all been in the car with someone who is messing around and trying to show off or who was in a bad mood, so I think that many times we discount this behavior as being harmless because apart from pissing off some surrounding motorists, nothing much usually happens. But that isn’t always the case, and there are many times where someone is trying to show off in a car or gets angry or is buzzed, drunk, stoned, or high and drives accordingly, either getting into accidents, or worse, getting someone killed.

This is very common on dates, where a man is trying to impress a girl. He thinks that going fast and showing off his driving skills, something that would impress him, would work on his date. Funny enough, it rarely does. And it usually has the opposite effect as most men are unaware of how much women value safety.

I’m not going to lie, your friend is not going to like it when you ask them to change how they drive or ask to get out. They will be insulted, because you are actually calling them a bad driver. They will likely get upset when you ask them to pull over. Tough. Your life is much more important than their feelings. And on the subject of feelings, you need to listen to them. If you are getting red flags from the way your friend is driving, it’s high time to make a change.

So how do you ask them? Very simple. Don’t freak, don’t call them names, but a very simple “hey we’re going a bit too fast, can we slow down a bit” or “ whoa, we are really close to that guy in front. If he hits his brakes hard we might end up  in his front seat next to him, what do you say we back off a bit?”  Many times that is all it takes, or maybe having to repeat that once more will get the message across. But let’s say you are on a date with someone who is trying to impress you with their driving or your friend is being a jerk with their driving, and your pleas for lesser speed and better driving fall on deaf ears. What then?

Ask to be let out of the car. You should really only do this if you think there is a threat to your life. You’ll know this by the excessive speed the driver is exhibiting, or by the tailgating and just general unsafe behavior they are showing behind the wheel. If it’s getting to the point where it’s starting to scare you, you need to get out of the car. You get out by making your feelings know, without any ambiguity. “Hey man, I’ve had enough, let me out.” Or, “ You’re scaring me, I want out of the car right now.” Don’t be surprised if the driver either doesn’t hear you the first time or doesn’t take you seriously. Anyone committed to driving so badly that they would make someone want to get out of a car is stuck way up in their head and isn’t really paying attention, so it’s likely you’ll have to repeat your request. Do it, as often as possible. If you have to scream, scream. Do what you have to do to get the person’s attention. It is likely that they will refuse to pull over, especially if it’s one of your friends. If you’re scared of their driving though, don’t give up and don’t give in to their assurances that they were just “messing around” and they’ll stop. It’s much more likely that they’ll continue messing around, or will snap at someone who they think wronged them, and then take you on a ride you don’t want to be on. So get loud, get insistent, scream, do what you have to do. On that note though, don’t wrench the wheel out of his hands, that could cause and accident that YOU would be blamed for, and rightly so. Simply insist that they let you out. And keep insisting until they comply.

Ok, you’re out, now get on your phone (you should never be leaving your house without a fully charged or almost fully charged phone, just for reasons like this), call a friend, family member, co worker, or anyone you can trust to come pick you up, and find a safe place, a safe PUBLIC place to wait. Don’t follow a stranger back to their place to hang while you wait for your ride, no matter how nice they seem. Go to a gas station, a fast food place, a restaurant, a bar, any public place that looks safe where you can wait. I shouldn’t have to say this, But DO NOT GET INTO A CAR WITH ANYONE YOU DON’T KNOW IF YOU’RE ALONE.

I hope that helps. If you have any questions that you’d like answered, or are just curious about something, drop me a line. Have a great day, and stay safe!