One subject that is not talked about much, yet is experienced by many, is the subject of the fear of driving. That fear is similar to the picture above, which is one of the classic images of fear. It is classic because it is so ironic, (the elephant could likely crush the mouse with a mere sneeze, but he is terrified of it) but isn't most fear ironic? A man will stress out and fear rejection by asking out a girl, and because of that, he doesn't do it. All that is, is walking up to a person, saying hi, and asking if they'd like to go out with you. But we overcomplicate things and imagine the very worst, and by the time the man is done overthinking, the woman has gone in his mind from a natural human being to a monster, and in his mind, he has gone from a great guy to a schmuck who has nothing to offer. Neither are likely true, but the mind makes them true. The fear of driving is very similar in some cases, but on the other hand is very real. When someone gets in to a car, they are strapping in to what for most people will be the most dangerous thing they ever put their hands on, and yes, that includes anyone who was in the military, as cars kill far more people than weapons have in this country. But even considering that, there are ways to make it so that fear does not destroy you. Let's look at some.
Before we start, I want to say a couple of things. First off, no blog, however well constructed, can cure a person of an emotion. That is not possible. I present this information to allow the reader to maybe see things in a different way. I also want to say that I am not making light of fear, nor am I trying to present myself as superior to anyone in writing this. This is an attempt to help, in the truest spirit of that emotion that I can muster.
Let me show you a couple of pictures. Some very intelligent people have taken the word fear, and turned it in to an acronym. These acronyms can be very powerful for someone struggling with fear.
I don't show these acronyms to make light of fear, I show them to present another side. Fear is truly the strongest emotion we humans experience. It has been said that humans will do more to move away from pain than we will to move towards pleasure. This is because of the fear of the pain, and the desire to never experience it again. Fear of driving is a very real fear, and one that many people face. To see how fear can be dealt with, let's break it down in to two categories, because, in my experience, the fear is different for different people at different parts of their lives. The categories we are going to look at are the driver just starting out, and the elderly driver.
The Driver Just Starting Out:
If the above picture is not familiar to you, it's taken from the second Harry Potter movie. In this movie is a scene where Harry Potter, the main character, is not allowed to go to wizarding school by the relatives he is staying with. Harry's friend, Ron, realizes something is wrong, and borrows his father's Ford Anglia, which is a flying car, and goes to rescue Harry. Ron gets Harry to school, but not before breaking quite a few wizarding laws, and crashing in to an ancient tree on the school property.
While it might be a bit flippant to use a comedy scene to illustrate new driver fear, the scene brings up some good points that feed in to the fear of the new driver. Just like Ron, the new driver is trying to control something he doesn't understand, and is afraid of. Just like Ron, the new driver does not have the reactions or wisdom to drive the car as it needs to be driven to be driven safely. Just like Ron, the new driver wants to show that he is grown up enough to do an adult thing: drive, but often times gets in to trouble similar to Ron's.
One of the things a new driver can do is to admit that they aren't in control and don't know everything. They should also admit they need to ask questions, and most importantly, don't get down on yourself for messing up. There is nothing wrong with asking questions, even if you think you should have known this already. And if you are a guy reading this, do yourself a favor and get rid of the old standard that just because you are a guy you are automatically supposed to know everything about everything. No one can do that. As a new driver, you have the right to not know, and then ask questions.
Overall though, I would advise new drivers to not panic. You are going from walking or bike-riding to driving a car. It's much faster, requires more skill to operate, and the consequences for messing up are higher. You will get scared the first time you try and drive on the freeway and you finally see how fast driving really is there. You will get scared at other times, too. I remember when my aunt took me driving for the first time. I was 13 year old, and we were in Porterville, California, a sleepy farm community in the middle of the San Joaquin Valley. I was driving my aunt's car back from the store, and I was doing a great job. I was watching my speed, keeping in the middle of the lane, and not swerving. I started to relax, sure that I had this driving thing down. Then my aunt reminded me that I had to keep watch of my rear-view mirror as well. I glanced up at the mirror, and there was a car tailgating me. I was scared to death. All of that confidence melted away, and for a split second I couldn't figure out what to do. With my aunt's help, I was able to recover and get home safely. New drivers will have this happen to. Do not stress about it. Do what I did, use it as a learning experience, and use it to make you a better driver.
The Elderly Driver
This driver has been driving for many years. They have vast experience, and have been through just about any situation driving-wise that life can throw at someone, and come out of it not only alive, but as a more skilled as a driver. Unfortunately though, time and age take a toll on most drivers. Elderly drivers usually have reduced reaction times and tend to drive slower, which is why younger drivers get so angry at them. But let's spare a thought for the older driver. They started driving when things were much simpler, and much fewer people were on the road. Just like the younger driver, they have also made an adjustment, but in this case it isn't from walking, to bike riding, to driving. The elderly driver's adjustment has to do with how the technology of their car progresses, how much faster everything seems to go around them, and how much scarier driving is as a result of those two things.
Just like with the younger driver, I would advise patience. As an elderly driver (and I would define elderly driver here as anyone from mid 50s and up in age), you should give yourself the time you need to adapt to whatever situation you find yourself in, and not worry about other drivers. If you need to drive slower, then drive slower, just do your best to make sure that you are always in the right lane, and you are doing your best to not impede anyone. If you find that driving tends to bring on a feeling of panic, take a second, ask yourself what's going on, and see if you can make an adjustment. For instance, let's say you normally go to the store at 4 PM, but you have noticed that there are more cars on the road and you find yourself feeling scared whenever you drive at this time. Then see if you can drive at another time, say 11 AM, when most people are at work. You should do whatever you need to do to take care of yourself and make driving and enjoyable, and safe, experience for yourself.
However, there is one thing that must be mentioned when it comes to elderly drivers, and that is when to stop driving. Just like the young driver has to deal with the growing pains of getting used to a car and the new skills they need to learn to drive safely, an elderly driver must get used to the notion of monitoring their skills and begin to see when driving is becoming too much of a burden to be borne any longer. According to the American Association of Retired Person's (AARP) website, there are 10 things an elderly driver should consider when it comes time to make the decision to stop or limit driving:
- Almost crashing, with frequent "close calls"
- Finding dents and scrapes on the car, on fences, mailboxes, garage doors, curbs, etc.
- Getting lost, especially in familiar locations
- Having trouble seeing or following traffic signals, road signs, and pavement markings
- Responding more slowly to unexpected situations, or having trouble moving their foot from the gas to the brake pedal; confusing the two pedals
- Misjudging gaps in traffic at intersections and on highway entrance and exit ramps
- Experiencing road rage or causing other drivers to honk or complain
- Easily becoming distracted or having difficulty concentrating while driving
- Having a hard time turning around to check the rear view while backing up or changing lanes
- Receiving multiple traffic tickets or "warnings" from law enforcement officers
AARP suggests that if an elderly driver notices signs such as the ten above, they should seriously consider taking one of AARP's safety courses, which could help the driver with some of the issues they may be facing, and if it is time to stop driving, these course could help the elderly driver make that decision.
Fear is nothing to mess with. It truly drives the world, and moves all people one way or another, depending on how much fear we as people put in to something. Fear also exists when it comes to driving. A new driver experiences fear due to not being familiar, or ready, with the challenges driving a car brings to them. An elderly driver experiences fear due to the increased speed of modern drivers, the decline in reaction times, and the very real question of when an elderly driver should stop driving altogether. Even though there is fear in driving, there is much pleasure in it also. If both young and older drivers keep this in mind as they drive, they can hopefully have a much safer, and enjoyable driving experience any time they are behind the wheel. Until next time.
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