Why Flipping Someone Off is a Bad Idea

It happens every day, on roadways all over the world: someone does something while driving that someone else thinks they shouldn't have done. So to get back, they flip the person off. Flipping off someone (or giving someone the middle finger, as it's also known), is a very popular way of expressing frustration and expressing the way someone feels about another person's driving. But flipping people off has consequences that I've not seen with any other form of insult, and those consequences are what today's article is about.

I won't lie, I have flipped off many drivers in my day. Usually, my flipping the other driver off was as a result of that driver cutting me off, tailgating me, or doing anything else which I judged rude or dangerous that I felt needed a response. I have also flipped off people who have flipped me off first before, and that has been the situation when I seem to have used the middle finger most often. But the expression of giving someone the middle finger causes something primal and offensive in us, and it can, and has, led to road rage incidents, intimidating driving, and dangerous maneuvers by drivers who felt offended by getting the middle finger by another driver.

On the surface, this gesture shouldn't be a big deal. What is one rude gesture when we are surrounded by negativity all day long? We are deluged by cuss words and offensive actions almost by the minute thanks to memes, Facebook or Twitter feeds, movies, songs, or YouTube videos. But there has always been something about someone giving the middle finger to someone else that makes us almost literally lose our minds as humans. I have seen minor road rage incidents caused because someone flipped off someone else. I have seen fights started because of middle fingers. There seems to be something about the middle finger that triggers an almost instant reaction of hostility in most people, and it is this reaction that is the most dangerous, because if you've read any of my other articles, you have seen that emotions are rarely controllable, and the stronger ones, like hate, are even less so.

So what's the solution? It comes in two forms. The first part is to not use the middle finger yourself when you drive in reaction to someone doing something to you. The second part is doing your best to control your own reaction when someone gives you the middle finger.

So you are driving along, and all of a sudden someone swerves in to your lane, or they cut you off, or they pull a quick right turn in front of you, and then slam on their brakes to enter a driveway. In any of those cases, you would be justified for being angry and wanting to react to the person who wronged you. But if you take a second, remember the danger of the middle finger, and choose not to use it, and instead use something else to show your frustration, something that carries far less offense, you will go a long way towards diffusing a bad situation. What I do when I feel I need to react to another driver's bad actions is to simply put my hand up, kind of like in a "did you seriously just do that? Seriously?" pose. Somewhat like this:

Did You Really Just Do That?

I've never had anyone react in any way similar to the way they react to this gesture like they would if I flipped them off. In fact, using a gesture like this seems to be a far less offensive, and less dangerous, way of expressing disapproval of another driver's actions. Of course, you might have other gestures, depending on where you live and the culture you were brought up in, but anything will likely work better than a middle finger. Do your best to retire the middle finger from use when you drive. Driving will be much safer for you if you can.

Now what about the other issue: your reaction when you are flipped off? Just like with the first situation, do your best to ignore a middle finger. This situation can be a bit harder to do, because I've noticed that people seem to have an automatic response to being flipped off, and that is to flip off the person who flipped them off. Oftentimes, it seems like it can't be helped. But I have found that by making a conscious effort to not employ the middle finger, and some practice, I have almost completely eliminated it from my driving.  I have done my hand wave, like the picture above, when I've been flipped off, and I can say from experience it works much better. It gets the nervous energy and anger out,of me but doesn't seem to inspire the same kind of hatred in other drivers. And that is the best way to go.

I am not saying that giving up the middle finger is going to be easy, especially if you've been using it for a long time. That is especially going to be true in a culture where the middle finger and profanity are found all over the place, all day long. But if you keep in mind the information in this article, especially those points about road rage incidents being caused by middle fingers, and the rage that the middle finger seems to bring out in people that get it, I think a driver can train themselves to not use that gesture. It will be hardest, in my opinion, to not be tempted to use it when it is first used on you, but if you try to employ another gesture, like the hand one I mentioned, and you use that one when you feel you need to, it can replace the middle finger in time. Of course, the best situation would be to not have to use any gesture in response to something another driver did to you, but that takes time, patience, and a calm spirit, which are not things that everyone can have all the time. The best thing to do for all involved though, is to remove the middle finger, and the potential harm it can cause, from driving altogether. Until next time....